2020 Newsletter: A Message to Clients
Our eternal optimism stands in stark contrast to the total apocalypse unfolding all around us.
Wow. As 2020 continues to rampage through the lives of ordinary people all over the world, we are thrilled to report on our best year ever here at Feral Studio. With only two non-life-threatening hospital stays between our team and no structural fire damage to any of our cherished vacation homes, we have truly beaten the odds.
Throughout the lockdown, our business remained 100% operational as we all retreated to our respective concrete blast bunkers. Sales doubled and revenue is up across the board, both in our traditional web services category, as well as our burgeoning direct-to-consumer PPE import/export business.
We understand that for many 2020 has been synonymous with alarming civil unrest, total economic ruin and, of course, mass illness and death. In response, we encourage everyone to look on the bright side! We have yet to be incinerated in a nuclear blast, scorched by a massive world-ending solar flare, or enslaved by an alien race seeking our vast supplies of liquid water. There is still much to celebrate, including some of the news included below.
Feral Expands into Europe
As a result of Timmy exceeding the deposit limits of his poorly sprung queen mattress, we have made the strategic decision to formally expand into Europe.
Our expansion will officially establish a legal European headquarters in Scotland, as well as give our European clients the flexibility to pay us directly in heirloom gold coins and other valuable antiquities currently not available as payment in the US.
Support Agreements Are Required Beginning in 2021
All current clients will need to have a support agreement or retainer in place with us for ongoing work, beginning January 1st. At the minimum, these support agreements will include the effort necessary to keep your site running smoothly, including periodic updates, on an annual basis.
We are requiring these agreements to prevent surprises when handling, for example, a small change request, only to find out that four hours worth of site updates are required before we can do anything. These agreements also firm up guidelines and expectations around making changes, bug fixes, and the like.
6 New Sites Launched This Year
Feral enjoyed the distinct honor of launching six websites this year. All of these sites launched successfully and, to our knowledge, are living productive lives in their respective corners of the internet. If you would like to see some of our work this year that wasn’t the website we built for you, take a look below.
- Connected Insight
- Trusted Advisor
- US Hemp Roundtable (on behalf of Multiply)
- US Hemp Authority (also on behalf of Multiply)
- Carnival Cruise Lines (on behalf of The Found Gen)
Our 2020 Sales Drive is Officially Underway
You may recall the stunning success of our 2019 sales drive. Our 2020 effort looks to blow the doors right off the hinges of the previous year. With top-tier prospects like Storage Bin Enterprises of Tulsa and USA Chemical Suppliers directly in our sights, we look forward to introducing several new respected names to our already illustrious roster of clients and partners.
If you or anyone you know has a lead that may be of interest to us, we have a stack of gift cards to elite dining establishments like The Cheesecake Factory and Outback Steakhouse waiting for you. Let’s make this work.
Receive a free drawing of your face in exchange for a testimonial
We are currently designing a new area on our site just for client testimonials. We want a place to celebrate the support over the years, and to also remind others just how attractive and desirable our clientele truly is.
Submit a testimonial and we’ll return the favor by providing you with a fine-art drawing of your likeness. For an additional charge, we can have this drawing emblazoned on a rich satin tapestry wrapped in a sparkling 24K diamond and gold frame, perfect for any room of the house.
Here are just a few samples:
For inspiration, here are a few testimonials we have especially enjoyed. Be creative!
- “As good as Sterling and Timmy are at building websites and apps, in hindsight, inviting them to a family dinner was a mistake.”
- “Although our business has since folded, it would be unfair to pin the blame on Sterling or Timmy.”
- “Working with Timmy and Sterling has been great. I spend so much time online Facetiming with Sterling my kids call him my internet boyfriend.”
A momentary lapse of sincerity
2020 has been a shit year. With so many people down and out, it’s times like these where we especially appreciate the client partnerships that have kept our spirits up and our lights on. We don’t take that support lightly. We eagerly await your next extremely urgent bug fix or last minute feature request with smiles on our faces and joy in our hearts. We really are in this together.
Sterling and Timmy