Feral is Leaving San Francisco
The iconic California city loses one of its most dynamic duos
I am sad to announce today that Feral has left San Francisco. What began as a noble quest to reshape conversations around technology, life, and culture has ended in frustration, acrimony, and one small civil suit regarding the keeping of livestock within city limits. Ultimately, San Francisco’s draconian municipal regulation codes, particularly as they relate to definitions around what is and isn’t a dwelling, were too much to overcome. Timmy and I’s grand idea to fashion a new, future forward mixed-use development met resistance at every turn. Our initial design, an exotic cluster of temporary structures, anchored by a 42’ Fleetwood Prowler fifth wheel fused with a decommissioned fishing vessel, floundered with little public backing. This, despite its obvious potential as a dynamic and modular live/work space in the heart of the city.
We can’t say we didn’t try. As Timmy and I lived in the fifth-wheel half of our new development off the corner of 19th and Valencia, across from the Mission playground, we made numerous attempts to foster public goodwill and build support for our bold vision. We regularly performed a variety of outdoor musical acts and even went so far as to have a community cookout once a week, open to all. Despite our best efforts, we quickly became personae non gratae throughout the neighborhood. On December 6th, then 4 months into our stay, we were shaken awake and startled by a vocal group of “concerned citizens” attempting to overturn our mobile home. Owing to Fleetwood’s superior build quality, we withstood the attack, and beyond the shattering of a window by a container of hummus, remained safe.
This traumatic event forced us to question the nature of San Francisco itself, with Feral hanging in the balance. We had migrated there expecting to find a bastion of acceptance and progressive thought, and yet our own experience told a far different story. After several more meetings with city council members and various homeowner associations, Timmy recommended we revise our development plan and make some key design changes. Rather than construct an intricate, living network of abandoned structures and lean-tos we would instead propose a crisp, Scandinavian-inspired glass and metal office building, with the boat and trailer connected below as a hipster café called “Backwoods.” This design, which you can see below, was met with unbelievable enthusiasm. We were told by one council member that this idea “had some real legs” and that she would fast track development should we secure real estate around the Dogpatch area.
I left that meeting with a sour taste in my mouth, incensed by what I had heard. My blood began to boil at the notion that my personal history would be so thoughtlessly culturally appropriated, while the essence of my design vision would be reduced to blah. In an impassioned, somewhat rambling speech on the sidewalk outside the meeting, I implored each and every passerby to stand for true creativity and ingenuity in all its forms. “Never surrender to that faceless borg of gentrification,” I bellowed. “This amoral slime bot wants to drown us all in its putrid vat of sameness. Resist! Resist!”
As we walked home that night, I told Timmy that we must “vote with our feet” and “stand up for what we truly believe in.” I recommended we prepare the fifth wheel for immediate departure. Timmy agreed, taking me by surprise, noting that while he wasn’t clear on exactly what my point was, he did not like the high price of pizza in the city. For him, that was enough. To see Timmy stand by me with such a strong, unwavering resolve nearly brought me to tears. The following morning, we rolled up our awning, took our lawn chairs down off the roof, and with the help of my Aunt Edna and her powerful Dodge Ram dually, headed west towards Stockton.
For now, Timmy and I have returned to the only place vast enough for our many ideas, the internet itself. While we can no longer welcome clients to our former office, we are excited to announce that come Spring we will begin hosting visitors at a new location: A Dave & Buster’s Virtual Reality Experience. Here you will be able to not only interact with Timmy, myself, and the team in real-time, but also play a huge assortment of online games using any number of realistic avatars. We look forward to building this new community with you, and challenge you in advance to an interactive game of skee ball.