A web design and development studio

With spring comes renew­al. After three years deep in the weeds on a hand­ful of intense­ly com­plex and chal­leng­ing web­sites, apps, and ecom­merce projects, Tim­my and I decid­ed to refo­cus our efforts on part­ner­ing with cre­ative agen­cies to work on more visu­al­ly inter­est­ing and engag­ing mar­ket­ing projects that had a more artis­tic core. 

To this end, we launched our new stu­dio site in April to near uni­ver­sal acclaim. Just take this com­ment we received from my mom’s friend, Judy. Judy is the lead instruc­tor of a How to Use Your Smart­phone” class for seniors at the local library.

Well, I guess a site like this…hmmm…I mean, the fact that there are peo­ple out there that like this kind of stuff and think it’s fun­ny, it’s a sign I’m get­ting on in years. It’s cer­tain­ly not the web­site I would build.” 

Now more than ever, brands are look­ing to get younger, hip­per, and more eclec­tic. To know our site turned off a wide swath of the 60 and old­er pop­u­la­tion helped val­i­date one of Tim­my and I’s key premis­es, main­ly that our site should appeal to the hippest, coolest, most eclec­tic cats in the entire neigh­bor­hood and make lit­er­al­ly no sense to any­one else. 

After a suc­cess­ful launch, my own atten­tion turned to acquir­ing new projects. While most of our work through the years has devel­oped organ­i­cal­ly through word of mouth and the con­tin­ued suc­cess of our small client base, I do bring a wealth of sales expe­ri­ence to the table. At 11, I sold six large plas­tic tubs worth of clas­si­cal art-inspired umbrel­las that were giv­en to me by a fam­i­ly friend who need­ed to quick­ly flee the state after a war­rant was issued for his arrest. Using half of my mom’s des­ig­nat­ed space at the Sat­ur­day farm­ers mar­ket in Hilo, Hawaii, I sold umbrel­la after umbrel­la for months while my mom gave tarot read­ings. The proof is in the pud­ding, folks.

While my nat­ur­al sales­man­ship is sec­ond to none, sell­ing web­sites is dif­fer­ent than umbrel­las in sev­er­al key ways. For one, they are not of imme­di­ate inter­est to the eldery. Also, they’re not very use­ful in the rain. Sell­ing web­sites requires a thought­ful, cre­ative approach, one that stands out from the crowd.

Being that the high-pow­ered cre­ative titans I would be con­tact­ing would sure­ly be inun­dat­ed with unin­spired emails and DMs inquir­ing about work, I decid­ed to do some­thing much more ana­log. I would write them a let­ter. You know, a let­ter, like the things you have to buy stamps for. 

Over the course of a cou­ple weeks, I would spend hour after hour draft­ing intri­cate cre­ative sto­ries involv­ing Tim­my and I. Each one would be hys­ter­i­cal, but also weird­ly believ­able. We would be failed restau­ra­teurs look­ing to bounce back or low-life entre­pre­neurs sling­ing can­dles in the Texas rave scene or naïve din­ner guests who get caught up in their host’s cult rit­u­als. Here’s a few of the good ones:

Crab shack goes bel­ly up (PDF)

Detained in Guadala­jara (PDF)

Our dog­gy AR app falls on its face (PDF)

I wrote ten in total as a tri­al. I signed them. Addressed them. I sent them on their way. I have yet to hear a word back, from any­one. Noth­ing. Nada. It’s been sev­er­al weeks. 

We couldn’t be more excited.

Now I know what you’re think­ing, Why would we con­sid­er this a suc­cess and not an abysmal fail­ure and com­plete waste of time?” That’s sim­ple. Had peo­ple respond­ed quick­ly, or even worse, with some small, lit­er­al­ly-10-sec­onds-of-your-life token of acknowl­edge­ment, this would have pre­clud­ed the far supe­ri­or, and quite frankly, increas­ing­ly more like­ly out­comes, a few of which I’ve out­lined below. 

The poten­tial client didn’t respond because:

  • [Agency A] They are prepar­ing a mas­sive feast in our hon­or at their cor­po­rate head­quar­ters. This under­tak­ing will require coor­di­na­tion between event plan­ners, cater­ers, orches­tras, bal­let dancers, pyrotech­nics teams, and aquat­ic seal troops. This takes time. Plus, Cindy and a cou­ple oth­er employ­ees are on vaca­tion. They can­not pos­si­bly miss this feast, and thus an announce­ment must be post­poned until their return.
  • [Agency B] They know we’ve con­tact­ed oth­er agen­cies, one of which is most cer­tain­ly host­ing a feast in our hon­or, and want to lit­er­al­ly sweep us off our feet before­hand. They are send­ing a pri­vate jet to whisk us away to a pri­vate meet­ing in the Bahamas. They know super­fi­cial demon­stra­tions of wealth and sta­tus do noth­ing for us, so they’re tak­ing the time to do a cus­tom vinyl wrap of the entire plane depict­ing Tim­my and I as pow­er­ful pharaohs in ancient Egypt. 

  • [Agency C] They know larg­er agen­cies are plan­ning a huge feast and send­ing pri­vate jets to wow us. They can’t com­pete with that, nor should they. Instead, they are lean­ing on some of their per­son­al con­nec­tions from the 6am class at Soul Cycle San­ta Mon­i­ca. Ryan Gosling, Sam Har­ris, Emma Stone, Dwayne The Rock” John­son, Chan Mar­shall, as well as Michelle Oba­ma (and maybe Barack) have all ten­ta­tive­ly agreed to a casu­al game night at the poten­tial client’s home and we’re invit­ed. Now it’s just a mat­ter of find­ing a day that works for every­one before they sur­prise us.

Need­less to say, Tim­my and I are pos­i­tive­ly gid­dy about the prospects of some major splash­es in the very near future. Just look at this spread­sheet of com­pa­nies we’ve con­tact­ed and whether they have respond­ed or not.

Due to some of our poten­tial clients’ con­nec­tions to the Yakuza in Japan, as well as the Russ­ian mob, we have blurred their names. 

Here at Fer­al, we’re all about visu­al­iz­ing data in new and inter­est­ing ways. Check out this com­par­i­son chart.

Look at all that red! And there’s more where that came from too. What all these fine estab­lish­ments could be plan­ning for us, we can only imag­ine! And imag­ine we will, because at the moment there is very lit­tle else for us to do. 

Some say start­ing a new busi­ness is tough. With all the chal­lenges that you face: the long nights spent awake won­der­ing if some­thing — any­thing — will work, the dif­fi­cul­ty in putting your­self out there to be judged again and again, the bal­anc­ing act between the cool, care­free image of suc­cess that peo­ple love and the ever present anx­i­ety that this actu­al­ly mat­ters to you and it mat­ters quite a lot, it can be easy to see how some busi­ness own­ers can find them­selves alone at their desk on 11pm on a Sat­ur­day star­ing into the void, tears welling up in their eyes. Not Tim­my and I. We’re not like this. No, no, nope. This stuff nev­er cross­es our mind, not even for a second. 

We per­spire pros­per­i­ty. Our pres­ence alters des­tinies. Our gazes evoke poems. Our dan­druff is but tiny clumps of gold. No, we look con­fi­dent­ly upward, our bags packed, wait­ing for our feast of the ages, our jet to the Bahamas, our game night with all our favorite people. 

What else can you do, right?

If you made it this far, you may also like

Why we don't do free estimates

Image

The best antidote we've ever found to budget and scope overruns is proper, paid planning and proposals


Feral © 2019.