Feral is Hiring a Freelance Web Designer
Take my job, and all the joy and heartache that comes with it
To the collective astonishment of ourselves, as well as everyone who knows us, Feral continues to be successful. With all our gambling debts paid and the lien on Timmy’s car finally removed, we are poised for a truly special 2020.
As such, we are looking to hire a web designer immediately. This is less a choice than a necessity. While I consider myself a Microsoft Paint power user and really, the preeminent expert in the robust design tools available FOR FREE with every copy of Windows XP and above, I have been given an ultimatum by our developers Timmy and Thiago: hire a “real” designer or be thrown out on my head. Such is the life of a true creative iconoclast.
A “real” designer, so I’m told, uses modern design tools like Sketch or Adobe XD (never heard of ‘em), understands the design to development workflow, and takes pride in the organization and structure of their design files.
I don’t see the problem here, do you?
As someone who regularly wireframes with nothing but a pointy stick and a sandy beach as my canvas, I know there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Tools aside, we’re looking for someone who brings creativity, ingenuity, and originality to their digital design work. We will work together to establish a creative direction based on each of our clients’ specific needs. Once established, it will be your job to start knocking out templates like a BO$$.
Feral has some unique organizational qualities that you might be interested in. For starters, we are a fully remote studio. You never have to change out of your pajamas or even emerge from bed to work for us. On top of that, you will be working with a small, tight-knit team of three. We don’t take anything too seriously, and we are especially keen on creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable to be who they are. We prize independence and originality.
Each year we take a trip somewhere interesting. Last year it was Brazil. This year it’s Tokyo. I’d also like to start renting out an Airbnb in a fun place a couple times a year that anyone can work from should they choose. Maybe Switzerland. Maybe Orlando. A boy can dream.
Here are the specifics:
Job type: Freelance
Commitment: 25 – 30 hours a week on average, with some downtime here and there
Pay: Name your price!
You are a “real” designer, whatever that means
You have true, god-given talent. If you don’t believe in god, “exceptional” talent is sufficient
At least one eye for detail, preferably two
Ability to read and write in English or Gaelic
Proficiency in Sketch, XD, or Photoshop
Familiarity with HTML/CSS/JS and web development a plus
If you are interested in this job, please send your portfolio along with a note explaining what kind of predicament you have found yourself in that would make you want to work for us to email@example.com with the subject “JOB.” Emails only! Portfolios are a must. Portfolios on floppy disks are even better.